no intructions when it comes to LOVE.

yes, someday i will be alright.
and that someday shall be NOW, TODAY.
i am alright. : )

with love, forever and always.

If i knew it would be the last time i would would be there to share your day, well i’m sure you’ll have so much more so i can let just this one slip away. for surely there’s always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right. there will always be another day to say our ” i love yous”.
But just in case i might be wrong, and today is all i get, i’d like to say how much I LOVE YOU and i hope we never forget, tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, and today may be the last chance you get to hold your love one tight.

oh how lovely you all are, thank you for it all. the LAUGHTER, PEACE & JOY that each of you brought through out the whole year. AWESOMEE SHIT. yes, you will be all dearly miss.
hence, i give you all the honours to BITCH-SLAP me at anytime of the day. HAHHAA.

THE worst part

- is he thinks he has done nothing wrong.

let’s hear a smile.

even now, after everything, i should theoretically hate you. but why am i sitting here, watching?

;like a blunt knife trying to find a partially healed wound to reopen.

oh.

hurry.

come tune my body, limit the amount of tears for each guy.

listen, you’re my short story.

as i said; again.
from the beginning till the rest and with whatever that came along with it, i remember in snipets. you know, like snapshots and flashes. or like clicks of a camera shutter.

CLICK.

oh god. as the scent crawled up my nose, and slid down my throat.

CLICK.

it was all him.

CLICK.

i hurt.

CLICK.

you, igniting the pain could have knock me off.

ahhh awesome first day of school :) !( no i am not trying to be like sacarstic or whaat. don’t get me wrong, lectures were such a bummer still) but it’s like finally get to see my beautiful people who can irritate the hell out of me for the next what, 17 weeks or so. ( and omg no ainul, i dont wish to volunteer in any of those fire demostrations or ticks okaay! i kind of have a fear of fire like a little bit. thanks -_-) and being separated from my lovely leading ladies doesn’t add much joy to school either! seriously, it seems like marlene and alisa are so damn far away from me! :( I NEED TO HEAR FUCK YOUS’ FROM MARLENE LIKE ASAP! ( i aint dying in class without their presence okay, it’s just that it’s so damn different without them) i feel as if i can’t have any girl talk during lectures anymore. i have to like keep it hush hush, when i need to pee, or when i have a wedgy or when i’m bleeding or something like that. OMG I CAN’T HAVE THOSE TOILET TALKS EITHER ( dont ask me what on earth we talk in the toilet, but its totally therapeutic to just hang out in the toilet for 10 minutes and compare boobs/pimples or something) how shitified is that? crapp, no toilet buddy anymore! damnn it people. i need some form of girl species with me laa! ouhh maybe i should keep an imaginary friend? what shall i call her, stacey? but then again, i already have the bitchy allan with me. BUT STILL. i need a damn girl, super deprived of them you know! (omg, i think i sound like a lesbian) wow, so much of wanting to come back to school eh!

 

THE sudden rush of you

i don’t know how, when, who, what or WHY did i realised how powerful words could be – how they could set you free, how they could chain you, how they could propel you back to the midst of the place, called hell. F

call me kuku but: i miss the mini-jurongeast-gathering at seven-ish AM! omg, you have no idea how important that gathering was; plastering that awesome smiles for eighteen weeks, on the faces of  the gorgeous PEOPLE :)

my final two weeks is not so gaaaaaaaah-ish after all :) ;
six: i will UMPH-SERVE you all the way to TAMPINES.
seven: i will then choose to SQUASH you.
eight: i will stroll down in CIRCLES with YANTI&ROSE.
nine: CRUDE-ERS&I become ONE again.
ten: i bet there will be STINGRAYS (BOOOO)  -_-
eleven: we’ll STICK OUT our tongues from 12-6pm
twelve: EXCOs will smile again and SENDUKK will go fishing :) and more of UMPH-SERVING!
thirteen: they will clickclicklightsclickclick&SNAP – NO EYE LASH CURLER PLEASE.
fourteen: i will have green PEA for lunch.
fifteeen: i need the REDBOOK, to make LEGAL movements.
sixteen: we will ALL, runrunrunrunrun&pant. then runrunrunrunrun&pant.
eighteen: beware of flashing colours ROAMING around

then nineteeen: yiochukang all over AGAIN.

 

oh my red/white/yellow/blue (roses has quite a few colours right?)  flower, you are so lovely and wonderful! : ) please never let those chinanigans bring you down. you will always have me, prancing around in that head of yours, awaiting for your calls of rants & even joys.

polaroid.

isn’t it terrible to know that someone who had onced loved you, knew how to get to the part of you where the pain lived? fucking-ly enough, they knew where you kept that softest, most tender part of your heart; they knew which words, looks and actions would slice deep into you at that spot; they knew which cuts would take an eternity to heal. LIKE SERIOUSLY.  i just have to surrender myself to the remembering, somehow i felt that it was way easier than fighting it. and right now, i had very little fight in me. so i just totally stopped fighting. 

i shall allow the clicks of memories to keep flashing behind my eyes;
memories of him.
memories of us.
memories of who i was when i was with him.
BAAAAAHHH.

you’ve got a face for a smile, you know.

RIP FREDDIE & FANNIE.
i shall call you squishys. and you shall be my squishys. take care my wonderful squishys. okaaaaaay. you all might be wondering who on earth freddie and fannie are. well, apparently they are dead fish feed for the sting rays. their already death moment was quite brutal; blame it on danielle please. she tore freddie and fannie into like what, THREE separate pieces! -_- but the good news, ALL THREE SEPARATE PIECES OF FREDDIE WERE EATEN BY THE SAME STINGRAY! :) so we can say that somehow the-freddies- were reunited somewhere,somehow in the stingray. hmmm, i don’t know about fannie’s fate though.

the-buying-for-people-gifts-month continues.
so yes, wishing RENFRED HENG: A HAPPY NINETEEN!

and and and CHIA PEI ZHEN: HAPPY TWENTY DEAR! :) you have no idea how much i love you! like alot alot! okaay im sorry but i dont have any photos of you. AND WHY IS THAT?! OMG WE SHOULD TAKE PHOTOS PLEASE! the next time we go out, remind me. so since rein is really really pretty for a male dog, i shall put his photo instead alright! how is he anyways? i kind of miss him!

next, TEO HUAT LENG; HAPPY TWENTY ONE, MY NEW FOUND BEST FRIEND! hahahahaa. again, thanks for everything yea! you’ve been a great help, although it was just listening :) and yarhh, more coookies for you sooon! see, aidaa is willing to go through it all just to bake nice-smelling cookies for you! and no, you don’t have to return me back the ziplock bag for refill! -_-

 

– this heart, like a child running scared from a clown.
and my stomach screams just when i look at you,
run far away i must, so i can breathe.